Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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