hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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