i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize