There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
