There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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