She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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