i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
