And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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