Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
