Redeem this text for a blowjob
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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