This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
