people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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