Im at strip club and am horny
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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