You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
