I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
