I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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