last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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