Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
