Joe is yelling at the trees again.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize