my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
