your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
