ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize