Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
