is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
