I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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