Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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