I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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