Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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