If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
