yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
