im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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