i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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