the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
