I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
