Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
