I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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