I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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