bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
