i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
