That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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