i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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