I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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