do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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