I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
