he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
