and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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