Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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