Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
