I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
