He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
