every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
