btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
