M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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