I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
