ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
