if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
