The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
