Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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