I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize