Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
