Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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