i would punch a child for taco bell
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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