I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
