Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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