This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize