There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
