That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
it's like iHOP with fire
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
