Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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