I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
