I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
