this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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