I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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