Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
And then he peed in my hair
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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