sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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