Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
