There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Randomize
