i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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